animalstalkinginallcaps:

THANK HEAVENS YOU’RE BACK. WE’RE SO BORED WE’RE ACTUALLY DYING FROM IT. 

I’M ACTUALLY FINE. I TOOK A GLORIOUS NAP.

COMCAST IS DOWN AGAIN. SURPRISE, SURPRISE. WE WERE GOING TO BURN THROUGH SOME DOWNTON ABBEY BUT INSTEAD WE LISTENED TO HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE REPUBLICAN PRIMARIES ON AN OLD-TIMEY AM/FM TRANSISTOR RADIO WE FOUND IN THE GUEST HOUSE.

I DIDN’T ACTUALLY LISTEN BECAUSE I WAS NAPPING.

WE TRIED TO DISCUSS THE CANDIDATES’ VIEWS ON IMMIGRATION WITH THE MAID, THE ENTIRE KITCHEN STAFF, THE GARDENER, AND THE ORGANIC PRODUCE DELIVERY GUY BUT NONE OF THEM SPEAK ENGLISH.

I SPEAK FLUENT CATALAN BUT THIS MEXICAN SPANISH, IF YOU CAN CALL IT THAT, IS JUST GARBLED NOISE TO ME. PLUS I WASN’T AWAKE.

NOT TO ALARM YOU, BUT IF ANY OF THOSE MEN GET ELECTED WE’RE GOING TO STARVE TO DEATH IN A VERY DIRTY HOUSE.

1 year ago  /  928 notes  /  Source: animalstalkinginallcaps